The Bigger Picture
by eclecticdinosaurs
Summary: Newton breaks, Herman gives him a reason to keep fighting.


_**I like reviews. Be nice. Be constructive.**_

* * *

Herman had begrudgingly grown accustomed to Newton Geiszler.

From his morning greetings ("Hiya Herms!") to him poking around while Herman worked. He had even come to enjoy the doodles Newton left on his chalkboard. Not that he ever acknowledged them, not in front of Dr. Geiszler.

* * *

Herman woke earlier than usual and made his way to the lab. He was surprised to find Newton immersed in cataloguing the newest samples.

_Ah yes. _ Herman nodded, remembering the night before.

Herman did the best he could to keep himself as emotionally detached as possible from the work they did. Every night he'd call Vanessa and speak of anything except his work. She'd tell him about her new batch of grad students and of the photo shoots she did on the side. Most recently, they took to talking about the future, a topic he'd avoided because of the impending apocalypse. Vanessa had reassured him the world wouldn't end because PPDC had the best mathematician in the world, and that when he helped save the world, they'd go ahead with their plans. Talking about the future was better than living the present. Especially when the future promised another Gottlieb in the family.

Which is why he did his best to forget the recently fallen jaeger.

The most recent casualties were Elena and Linda Ruiz. Twins.

They came from Mexico when they were 10 and received dual citizenship. They had trained in the academy and achieved top marks.

They were only 25 when they passed away.

_No._ He shook his head. _They went down fighting. Like warriors._

Both Herman and Newton had been present when Tendo announced the fallen kaiju and the death of the girls.

As always, they had very little time to mourn. There were numbers to recalculate, samples to study and reports to write.

"Good morning, Dr. Geiszler." Herman expected the usual greeting.

"Morning, Dr. Gottlieb," Newton replied.

_That's not right._

Herman shrugged it off and ignored the uneasy feeling settling in his chest.

Hours passed in silence, except when Newton asked him how he was and Herman answered "Fine". Other than that, none of the usual "Newton-ness".

No music. No lousy puns. No kaiju bits crossing to his side of the lab. In fact, Newton's side remained impeccable as well.

After some minutes, Herman took his work to the chalkboard and looked to "Newton's Doodle Corner". The bit of clean chalkboard Herman had left for him without being asked to.

Herman frowned at his image riding Godzilla over a city in ruins. It was the same as the day before. He turned to Newton and cleared his throat.

No response.

He did it again.

Nothing.

He did it once more, this time it was painfully exaggerated.

"Are you choking?" Newton asked, looking through a head set attached to several magnifying lenses.

"No," Herman coughed. Okay, maybe that last time he was choking a little. "Just, um, I was- how's work going?" He finished lamely.

Newton arched an eyebrow. "Good. Working on a new theory so… s'good. You?"

"Fine," Herman responded, edging closer to Newton's work station. "New numbers means new data."

"Cool." Newton went back to his work. Herman turned towards the board, but the nagging feeling in the back of his head wouldn't let up and the feeling in his chest was tightening rapidly.

"How are you?" He asked before his nerve faltered. Newton's head shot up in confusion. He lowered his gaze and kept silent.

Herman loved silence. Silence led to work getting done in peace, but this silence was deafening.

It hurt his ears.

"I'm fine," Newton replied slowly.

Herman gave an exasperated sigh. He hated these games. "Look, Newto-."

"Dr. Gottlieb, I'm fine-."

"Don't call me that, damn it, not now," Herman snapped. "Clearly you're not "fine" or I wouldn't be asking."

"You're fine," Newton replied forcefully. "You said so yourself." He ripped the head set off and shoved it inside a drawer. He slammed it close, letting the sound resonate in the lab. "I mean, you were there too. You knew Elena and Linda. We talked with them, shared meals, went to the bar with them. You were even there when they gave me this tie for my birthday. You saw them die too. If you're fine then so am I."

"Newton…" For once, he didn't have a quick response. This wasn't his area of expertise. Newton was supposed to be sarcastic and an overall smart ass ready to prove Herman wrong. This new side wasn't surprising, just unexpected.

_Vanessa, would know what to say…_

"You wanna know how I am, Dr. Gottlieb?" Newton asked calmly. He took of his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands. "I'm tired as fuck. I'm tired because I can't sleep. I'm tired because no matter how much we've advanced it seems like they're always one step ahead of us and while that was awesome when this started, it stopped being awesome when I saw friends die in a hunk of metal halfway across the world. I'm tired of this lab and I'm tired of being so accepting that sometimes the specimens I study killed people I knew."

Newton stayed silent for a few minutes, looking anywhere except at Herman. After some minutes, he grabbed his leather jacket and left the lab in silence.

Herman sighed and followed suit.

* * *

Newton ignored the first three knocks at his door. He opened at the fourth one, and let Herman step in without a word.

Herman studied his partner's room. He was expecting a disaster zone full of kaiju guts and odd band posters taking up every inch of the pitiful room they were assigned. What he saw was complete order. Every inch of the tiny room was impeccable. His desk rivaled Herman's in its organization. For a moment, Herman thought he was in his own room.

"It's never this clean," Newton answered the unasked question. He closed the door and went back to his bed.

Newton loosened his tie and flung it across the room. He buried his face in his pillow, hoping Herman would give up and leave him in peace. To his surprise, Herman made his way around the bed and took a seat. He took out his wallet and pulled out a picture of Vanessa and him from the last time they managed to meet face to face. He then pulled out a sonogram with the image of their unborn child.

"You can't give up now," Herman said in a low voice with underlined understanding. "Not now."

"Why not?" Newton replied stubbornly.

"Because this isn't about you, idiot," Herman responded.

Newton turned to face him.

"This is about everyone," he continued. "About the ones that deserve to be saved and those who don't. About the victims, the pilots and the families who've lost them. This is about the world and the possibilities of tomorrow so we can't give up now."

"Plus," he added as an afterthought. "I'd like to tell my child that Uncle Newton and their father helped save the world."

Newton let the words sink in and sat up in a flash when he mulled over the last part. "Uncle Newton-? Are you serious? You and Vane-? "

Herman huffed in mock annoyance. "Who else, moron?" He showed Newton the sonogram and saw as a smile appeared from ear to ear.

"A baby Gottlieb," Newton whispered in wonder. "Vane and you are gonna be parents… and I'm gonna be an uncle. Dude, I'm gonna buy your kid so much stuff."

Herman snorted in response.

"Seriously dude, that baby is gonna be so decked out… and it'll be so smart and cute! They'll have to have Vane's intelligence and good looks of course, your gift with maths and I'll teach 'em biology and stuff!"

"Does that mean you're back?" Herman asked, already knowing the answer.

Newton nodded, this time with excitement shining in his eyes. He was still mourning of course, he was always mourning the countless of friends he's seen slip away but Herman was correct. This wasn't about him, this was about everyone.

This was about the world.

The sound of their radio went off. Tendo announced the arrival of even more samples and the return of a legend, Raleigh Becket, to the team.

They both hopped off the bed and made their way to the door but not before Herman doubled back and gave him back his tie.


End file.
